My first love

Hola!

Well, I must say I’m pretty overwhelmed by the response I’ve received from the blogging community, be it in the form of follows, comments, likes or just views. Guess I finally figured how to tap the limitless potential of blogging, huh? (BTW If you are wondering what I’m talking about, then the answer is community participation.)

Hence, I figured you guys deserved a token of appreciation before we start out.

And here it goes!…. 🙂

A thank you from the minions

And now, as a token of gratitude I would now like to skip my rant and get to the point….

(Note:-

  1. For my ‘business only’ readers, I’d like to request you to scroll directly to the part in Italics, for that’s the real thing. This way you’ll avoid all the boredom and distraction caused by my rants.
  2. While my ‘economy’ readers, who do possess the luxury of time can perhaps entertain themselves until we get there. Consider it as a stash of complimentary popcorn.)

At the backstage…

I don’t know whether I’ll be making it into a habit, but this time, I do have a story to tell before we begin.

This post was inspired from a couple of readers (three actually, now that I think of it) :-

The first is my very good friend in real life who suggested me that I should write a poem. I really didn’t give it much thought as I don’t actually imagine myself as poetic. I’m rather the blunt, out in the open kinda person.

But then another reader from a distant corner of the world came across the only post in my mother tongue and said:-

Hey, is this post not meant for us?

I was like no, it’s nothing like that! It’s just that when something came out of the deepest recess of my heart, it did tend to come out in a language which I’ve called my home since birth. I’m sure this holds true for all of us. (Except perhaps those who do have English as their native language… Wonder how that would be like….)

(If you are wondering which post I’m talking about, then it’s this one:- माझं पहिलं प्रेम

Anyways, they were right. I couldn’t let language become a barrier and hence I decided that I would provide an English translation to the same.

Just as I was about to do that, the final push came in from a third blogger who, to my surprise, told me that I was very poetic. (Thanks, BTW!) 🙂

Then it really wasn’t difficult even for a layman like me to put two and two together and work on a poetic translation of my original creation. And that’s how this post was born.

Voila!

So now, without further ado, let’s scrutinize my poetic ability for the first time in my whole life.

Lights, camera aaaand…. Action!

My first love

A whimsical smile escapes my lips,

every time someone asks me this tryst.

But the eyes seem a stranger for they,

only they betray the storm within.

.

It all began on just ‘nother day,

for until then everything was the same.

Yet, all of a sudden that moment came,

where on nothing was quite the same.

.

A kid she held in her arms,

her face aglow, caught in his charm.

And as I stared at them, mesmerized,

I knew I had it in for life.

.

For unknowingly my mind had slipped,

adoring the girl instead of the kid.

‘She’s so cute’ it seemed to say,

refraining to double back until ’twas too late.

.

Days went by and so did months,

almost a year was past before something was done.

But luck, God bless it, played it’s part.

And so we met, much more than once.

.

Many a times it was laid to waste,

yet there were moments when hay was made.

Thy hobbies, thy nature was captured, aye.

Like a tiny bee on a mission high.

.

Finally that day did dawn,

when I chose to reveal what I knew from long.

The day was no different, nay,

but what took place next sure was.

A sunset at the beach

twas evening, the sun almost set.

Casting a myriad of shades, it’s net.

And there on the bountiful beach we lay,

with our toes tickled by the mighty waves.

.

The thrashing of the waves, the croaking of the cranes,

were the only sounds that were ever made.

For what possible role could the words have played?

except perhaps fail to describe the same.

.

To reassure the other it seemed,

our hands intertwined, marking a seam.

And just before the ocean could swallow the sun whole,

Our eyes met, lighting up our face as one.

.

If only this were a story,

then may be it would’ve ended in this glory.

But life ain’t just a story,

’tis a compilation of a million more.

.

So what really went on that day?

Oh a hell lot more than I’d ever wish to say.

We talked, we discussed, went back and forth.

An exchange of ideation, information, lot more.

.

That day I got to know her better,

we thought so alike yet not quite.

For as it progressed, I realized,

my respect increased and my despair alike.

.

Towards the end I felt,

a pit in the chest that would never fill.

I was so close yet impossibly far,

as though chasing a mirage in the desert Thar.

.

Eventually it was concluded that,

in cherishing friendship lay our interests stat.

Alas sealing my feelings, the prerequisite,

was something I could never fulfill.

.

How I wish it were that simple,

sealing my feelings as though a bin.

The only thing which was ever asked,

summarised everything impossible for me.

.

Even today, we cross ‘other’s path.

And somehow those feelings never fail to crawl.

Bold enough to hope that someday,

that would be a real story.

.

– Soumitra Patil.

Silver lining. Rays of sunshine.

For there’s always a silver lining…

79 Comments »

  1. Superlike! The third person was bang-on, you really are poetic! One really tough part about writing(from my limited experience) is conveying emotions which we originally express in our mother tongue into another language without losing the gravity or intensity of what we originally wished to convey and you have managed to smash that barrier to pieces. Exemplary work!

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Well, for someone who’s not poetic, I’d say that’s the most poetic poem I’ve read in quite a while. Kudos to you!
    …also, wonderful blog. And I love the Pensieve. Such a clever idea at first, and then when you think about what a Pensieve symbolizes, it becomes even more clever…coming from a Harry Potter fan 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thanks a million for your kind words! 😄. About the name…. To be honest, I was searching for an appropriate name for quite sometime. So one fine day, I just begun defining what my blog was all about. And then I realized how closely it resembled a Pensieve, for Dumbledore’s words rang through my head. I knew there and then that I had found what I had been looking for. ✌️

      Liked by 2 people

    • Hi! Oh, it’s pretty simple actually. What you have to do is select/open the post to which you have to add tags. Next, select the ‘settings’ icon. In there, you will find categories, tags, excerpt and slug for your post. Just select the tag option and add whatever tags you deem fit. It’s custom, so you have the liberty of typing your own unique tags. Next, just exit the window and save/update the post. Voila!

      Like

  3. Congratulations on achieving the milestone & I love the poem, do write & share more poetry.

    I also wanted to inform you that I have nominated you for the Liebster Award. I published the post on the award 🏆 and if you’d like to take a look here’s the🔗 link

    https://educatedunemployedindian.wordpress.com/2018/03/04/i-am-nominated-now-what-the-liebster-award/

    Hope this will make you happy and I can’t wait to read your answers to my questions 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Wow, very well done! I was with you the whole poem, especially by the end because I’ve felt the same way. I am in awe that you can translate your poem with such beautiful prose in the final result. I can only imagine how beautifully it’s written in your native language. Bravo!

    Liked by 3 people

  5. माझं पहिलं प्रेम
    who doesn’t have one?
    mine was with muh bicycle
    that my bro swore was his very own.
    i raged ‘n swooned,
    tricked him into partin’…
    till a flat tyre
    had me offerin’ it back…
    Big deal!

    by then,
    the bike next door caught muh fancy,
    can’t blame me
    if the neighbour lined up
    for yet another love goal!
    ;p

    Liked by 3 people

    • not at all, mon ami…the experience of first love can never be the same for all…yeah in hindsight, a bicycle may seem trivial but when caught in the throes, one doesn’t rationalise…

      the narrator’s experience holds no comparison to something as trivial as this…on the contrary, the love narrated here bespoke of holy ground unsullied by coarser feelings…

      yet what defines love is wholly at the mercy of its creator…hatred too -i have heard some say- is a form of love in its vilest form…not that i need to ascribe to the same.

      God Bless!

      Liked by 1 person

      • That’s true as well…. Guess we just went overboard, huh? Hatred… Honestly hatred is a very obvious suggestion that you feel something about that person. It suggests that whether one way or another, you do care what happens to the person. Further… It’s open to discussion.

        It’s indifference we should be really worried about. For that’s the real opposite of love. Not caring AT ALL.

        Like

  6. Woah…I think you are quite more poetic than you think yourself to be! The way you described your emotions throughout the poem made me visualise the poem like a movie or rather, a journey…You really do captivate people with your writing!

    Liked by 4 people

    • 😅😂😂

      Well, thank you so much Gail for visiting my site and the wonderful compliments! I hope to see you again real soon!

      And I’ll be returning the favour too! I’m sure you must be having a delightful stash of popcorn as well! 😁

      Like

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